The brain is quite amazing…

So my brain feels a bit all over the place today so please pardon if this post seems a little scattered.

This morning I had my appointment with my Neurologist. My husband and I knew that we were going in at this point to discuss treatment options, as my recent MRI had given definitive proof of Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. No more CIS for this gal! So we did our research.

Anyone who know’s my husband knows that when he starts a project or gets his mind set on something there isn’t a thing in this world that could stop him. So, he went into research overdrive and scoured, I am fairly certain, every nook and cranny of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s database for every FDA approved treatment option out there. Then cross referenced it with whether or not they interacted with my current medications, whether they were ruled out because I was exposed to JC Virus (some MS medications can cause brain disease if you have been previously exposed to this virus), and researched the side affects, effectiveness, and risks of each one. He’s amazing. I hope that every person with a chronic illness is as lucky as I am to have the amazing support and love that I do.

We knew we were going into this with a few major concerns. I wanted a drug that was low risk for birth defects as my husband and I start our married lives together we know that someday (a serious someday people) we want to have kids. So, I didn’t want anything that could cause permanent damage to that whole scenario. I also felt pretty strongly that I wanted the benefits to heavily outweigh the risks. I know that these “safer” treatment options are sometimes less effective, but I don’t want anything that is going to make me more sick that I already am. I don’t know if that’s even a realistic thing, or if it makes sense. But Copaxone seemed like the closest fit for me.

I am nervous to start the treatment, but luckily this drug doesn’t have too many side effects. I just have to get used to injecting myself. But that will come with time. I’m not super afraid of the pain, I can handle that (I have a full side tattoo, so I would hope so at least). So that is where my MS journey is at right now.

I’ve been thinking a lot about mindfulness lately and living in the present moment, really connecting to it. I did a great guided meditation last night before bed and something that the instructor spoke about that really stuck with me was how small a part we are in such a HUGE universe of being. It reminded that all of us are connected. We are connected to the people and energy in our homes, neighborhood, city, state or province, country, continent, the world, the universe, the cosmos. The magnitude of it is almost incomprehensible to the human mind. All of these things are existing and working in perfect harmony to keep us alive and our ecosystem thriving.

When I saw my images from my MRI today I couldn’t help but think of that meditation. Even inside our bodies is this crazy complex system that all works in harmony to keep us alive. And even though the neurologist was showing me the parts of my body that were sick, I could also see all the parts that were strong and working and beautifulSeriously, if you’ve ever seen an image of the inside of your own body from pelvis to the top of the head you would think it was beautiful too! It just reminded me that although I may be sick, my body and mind are still strong in many other ways. Even though part of my body get’s confused and attacks itself, a bigger part of it works in a cohesive way together… in harmony, every moment of the day to keep me alive. It made me feel grateful towards my body for the first time in a while.

She’s amazing 😉

P.S. Special shout out, again, to the sparrow mom who is now glaring at me from inside my basket of African Daisy’s. Like..I’m sorry you chose to build your nest in my happy place. We gonna hafta share, girl.

-A

5 comments

  • I am so glad that your husband is so supportive while you are going through all these changes and decisions that need to be made! It is so important to have your partner in life support you and you are able to make decisions together. I wish you much wellness and comfort while starting a medication.
    P.S I do not know this from personal experience, but many people I have talked to said all their symptoms of MS were gone while pregnant!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, my neurologist actually talked to my husband and I today about recent studies that are showing that women who had two or more kids were less likely to have as frequent relapses later in life! It must be something to do with the cell production? Just another miracle of birth 💕 He also assured me that the chances of passing it on to my child are almost non existent. So I’m definitely looking forward to becoming a mom someday! I’m thankful I am still able to for now 😊 thank you for your good vibes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is my pleasure! A friend of mine that has MS had her 2nd child a few months ago. She did very well while she was pregnant! I wish you the best of luck with starting your family someday! It is amazing how far they have come with medications, so all will go great for you! So did you decide on Copaxone? Will your husband help give shots if you need it?

        Like

      • Yes, we decided on Copaxone. He’s totally open to helping with the shots, which is good. They are going to have a nurse come to my home the first time to teach us how to do them. Which is good because this is completely uncharted territory for both of us!

        Liked by 1 person

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