Pain, Pain, go away…

The past week or so has been rough for me. I have been experiencing the MS hug, extreme fatigue (I’ve only felt it this severely once before), weakness, stomach problems, muscle spasms and shaking, and pain in my limbs, back, and chest.

I’ve been in contact with my doctors, so they know what is going on. My neurologist said I could be having a worsening of symptoms because the injections are working and as my nerves get a chance to heal they are misfiring more rapidly, and that it will pass in time. Other possibilities are an underlying infection causing a flare up, or an actual flare up. So I am really rooting for the first option!

When I get this sick I have noticed that my anxiety seems to use the time to take center stage in my thoughts. I start worrying that I will never feel better this time, that people think I am just lazy and don’t understand what I am going through, I worry that I am dying. I know that none of those things are true. That they are just the negative ideas and words of my anxiety. But it’s hard to just stop those thoughts when anxiety can be SO LOUD.

I know that I am stronger than this disease. I have bounced back from this before, and I will do it again. I just wish there was a little more certainty around Multiple Sclerosis. The unknown is a very scary thing. But I am arming myself for battle with my armor of blankets, my shield of heating pads, my noble steed Sir Mac N Cheese. But the most important thing I have to help me fight this battle is the love, positive energy, and caring actions and thoughts of my husband, family, friends, and all of you!

Let’s keep fighting this thing!

-A

9 comments

  • I know what a struggle MS can be, but please never give up. It is not an easy fight, but we are strong enough to handle it!!! I am ALWAYS here for you, if you ever need anything!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! The support from other MS’rs is so wonderful. It is so comforting to know there are other people out there who know exactly what I am going through. We are not alone!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • It really is great to connect with others that understand. I used to feel so alone with this illness because I did not know many people with MS. Continue to stay strong sweetie!!

        Liked by 1 person

  • O
    Alix, I wish I could take away your pain. I think about you every day and will continue to pray for you. You are such a strong person and you can be sure that all of your family and many, many friends are praying for you. Love grandma . Bernadette

    Liked by 1 person

  • Keep writing Alix! Keep fighting! Your words are helpful to many and will reach people around the world! May you find peace in your writing and in the arms of your loved ones and friends! Brett, Grayson and I will keep praying for you and Chad! Let us know if you guys ever need ANYTHING!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Sorry you’re feeling rotten. 😦 I understand the pain, crushing fatigue is my worst symptom. Hang in there, it will get better! Xo

    Liked by 1 person

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